Monday, March 1, 2010

The Good Thing Finder

When I was a little kid, I wanted a little hand held device that showed me where the good things were. Like the good books on the shelf in the library, where my mom hid the Flintstones vitamins, etc. Basically, the GFF would have some buttons that I could push, and it would be like I had night vision goggles on: things I'd like would glow red, blue things would be kind of so-so, and I should avoid all the orange or olive green things.

By the time I got to high school, I imagined the Good Thing Finder telling me all kinds of useful information, like who in my Algebra class had an STD, which people on the street were on drugs, or who in the cafeteria was going to die first.

And then I just forgot about the Good Thing Finder until lately, and now I want the Good Thing Finder to find good things again: the book I'm going to love, the movie I'm in the mood to watch, the song I'm going to want to listen to, the nicest cashier at the grocery store, the best thing on the menu, the person at the conference that I should sit next to at lunch and make fun of the stupid abstract sculpture in the foyer.

So, if you want to make me happy, invent for me a Good Thing Finder.

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