Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
One of my very best friends is my old boss Mary. She's an aquatic ecologist. She's also hilarious, has a photographic memory, is the best public speaker I know, and thinks about Odessa's college fund when I'm thinking about how I'm going to pay for Odessa's daycare. Anyway, working for Mary was really great and I sometimes miss it a lot, even though working for her also meant going to the MONKEY BARNS.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I bet you're wondering where I've been. Okay, so maybe you weren't, but I certainly was.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
It takes a lot to amaze me. Well, maybe not a lot, but I just don’t get amazed very often because, really? Most of the stuff/people you see/meet every day are pretty similar to everyone/everything else you see and meet every day. For instance, most of what I see/meet every day are my laptop at work and the new cashier at Earth Fare.
But sometimes I see/meet something different, and I just want to stare at it/them and maybe even hug it/them and maybe even put a straw in it/them and drink them all up. Well, maybe not that, but that’s kind of close to the feeling…. Like the other day I was in the Target parking lot and this woman walked through it and got into kind of beat up white van with an Australian Shepherd barking in it. She wasn’t beautiful or all the wacky looking or anything, but I could tell she wasn’t the same as everyone else in the Target parking lot, and I just wanted to run after her and ask her a bunch of questions: “Why do you drive that van? Do you have to haul a bunch of stuff? How did you get your hair to look like that? Are you from here? What are your parents like? Is that your dog? I bet you’ve been to Greece before—have you been to Greece?”
Anyway, today I was doing a little bit of light reading on Ye Olde Internets and I came across this tiny, insane little girl who is like 13 and has a fashion blog. And seriously—look at her. She is wearing a blanket and perhaps even Eddie Vedder's shirt from 1994 as a skirt and the front half of a jacket. I just want to take her kookster little Mia Farrow haircut head and plant a big wet kiss on the top of it. Because that little girl is 13 and she doesn't give a tinker's damn, ya'll. I can only hope as much for Odessa when she's 13.
By the way, her name is Tavi Gevinson and her blog is Style Rookie: http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
I am a older sister. Within the realm of older-sisterhood, there are several categories: The Manipulator, The Nag, The Bitch, The Boss, The Goodie-Goodie, Madame Overlord, The Underminer, etc. I happen to fall under the category of Benevolent Dictator. Ask my sister; growing up, my sovereignty, although relatively amicable, was absolute. Every so often I was forced to assert myself, and let me say, it hurt me more than it hurt her.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
When, do you think, is it appropriate to give a particular illness a special name? For example, I wonder when the people at the CDC called a meeting in Board Room 4 and decided, "this pig flu has really started busting chops down there in Mexico, and it's got the Koreans breaking out their paint scraping face masks. What should we call it? We've got to come up with a name that TV news anchors can use, and then another one that scientists and highly educated white people can use. Think people, THINK!" Similarly, I can imagine the Cardinals sitting around in a chapel in Vatican City in 1347 saying things like "'The Bubonic/Pneumonic/ Septicemic Plague' isn't very catchy and doesn't sound very... tough. How about 'The Black Plague'? That does sound frightening, what?"
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
This year, I have arrived at a stage in my life wherein Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I've always been partial to my birthday because I discovered at age 3 that I could boss my mom around one day a year. But now my birthday seems a little pale because nobody makes much of a fuss when you tell them it's your birthday and you're turning 32. So, Thanksgiving it is.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Oh, hi! I'm glad you're here because I have some questions for you. However, let me preface the questions with a little anecdote I just thought of.
Even though Walt Whitman might have been a perverted old codger, "All faults may be forgiven of him who has perfect candor." I appreciate tact, but I appreciate honesty more.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Ma: What are you doing, Jess? Writing your blog?
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
So, The Plague has stopped by for a nice visit this weekend.
"Really great to see you, The Plague! What's it been--A couple months? Oh, your friend you thought you were going to stay with ended up going out of town this weekend, and you need a place to crash? Well, we've got a lot going---what's that? Your grandmother died last week and you're in town for the memorial service, and you need a place to stay just for one night? And you promise to bring your own sheets? Well, I guess if it--
It all started with Odessa: sweet, guileless, smiling little flower of my heart. She woke up Thursday morning with the sniffles and by Friday night, she was practically drowning in snot. Nursing her was like watching a freshman Math major do a keg stand at a frat party he wasn't invited to. And do you guys know about The Aspirator? (See unlabeled Exhibit A above, which will remain unlabeled because I can't figure out how to label it.) You were definitely aspirated when you were a baby and you hated the sweet cream filling out of it, because just the thought of someone aspirating me makes me want to squeeze my eyes closed and pinch my nostrils shut and shake my head back and forth really hard. Don't get me wrong, Odessa looooooves the aspirator as a bath toy, but not as an implement of torture. To aspirate a baby, you prod this rubber bulb thing up her teeny little nostril and suction out all the toxic mucus and potentially her still soft and coalesing brains.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I'm sick of ya'll not writing me poems. So today, there's going to be a quiz. Consider it payment for the HOURS of entertainment I provide. Hours, I'm sure.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
I generally like November. About half the people I know were born in November, plus Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. November is everything January could be, but isn't.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Isn't she terrifying? She's even scarier in live action:
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I value diplomacy in a person. My husband is very diplomatic, but also honest. This is a difficult balance to strike, because sometimes there really isn't anything nice to say, so he has to say the nicest thing possible. For instance, when he called me Old Thunder Sides while I was pregnant, I knew that comparing me to a WWII battleship was the kindest epithet I could expect because it came from Bryan, who loves me but whose instinct is to call'em like he sees'em. Needless to say, I have a thicker skin now than I did before we met.
He really is a treasure.