Monday, September 13, 2010

Caveman Days

When I was a little kid, I was infatuated with cavemen. I really wanted to understand what made them tick.

Unfortunately, my mom was a flagrant perpetuator of misinformation concerning the caveman lifestyle. Here's an example of a conversation I would have with my mom regarding cavemen and their habits:

Me: Mama, in caveman days, what did they use for toothbrushes?

Mom: They used sticks.

Me: Huh. Well, what did the cavemen use for a colander when they needed to strain their spaghetti?

Mom: Well, I'm pretty sure they would make one out of sticks.

Me: Oh. Well, what did cavemen use for dollies?

Mom: Well, they probably wrapped a stick in a piece of sabre-toothed tiger fur, and used that as a dolly.

You get the point.

So today I have about 60 gajillion chigger bites with a little poison ivy thrown in for good measure that I got bushwhacking through the woods this weekend like a jackass. At one point I found an entire TREE of poison ivy which I briefly mistook for a box elder until I realized it was covered in evil poison fur. Anyway, my malady has again made me think about being a caveman because they probably spent most of their time scratching the chigger bites under their sabre-tooth tiger loincloths. And what did cavemen do for Hydrocortisone cream?

They used sticks.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhh, memories of painting my body with clear nail polish to "suffocate" the chiggers . . . gotta love folk wisdom!