Sweden

There is no rational reason for why I should I love Sweden. I've never been to Sweden, and if you look at the data, it's not a place I should expect to like:

• It is dark a lot.
• It is cold a lot.
• Meatballs and raw fish salad abound.
• Shit is expensive in Sweden, and I'm super curmudgeonly about paying $15 for a sandwich or $6 for a gallon of gas. I'll totally pay it, but I will complain. I will.
• I suspect I'm not actually good enough to be Swedish. Scottish? Sure. Or Icelandic even. But the Swedes would probably take one look at me and be like, "Nah."
  

But whatever: the heart loves what the heart loves.

So why do I like Sweden? Please refer to the bulleted points below:

• Fjords. I love a good glaciated landscape.
• Blenda (pictured at top). I can't do her story justice here, so READ THIS. Please. Because I'm going to name my next daughter Blenda and I want you to know why.
• The feast of St Lucia, wherein a little girl gets to walk around with a crown of lighted candles on her head, handing out candy. I like the devil-may-care attitude they have towards open flame, flaxen locks and children.
• Although I'd probably make a terrible Socialist (on account of my being so cranky about gas and sandwich prices), I like how the Swedes take care of their folks. Sixteen MONTHS of paid maternity leave. I KNOW!
• Swedish Music. I've said this before, but there's something so compelling to me about music written by someone who has to live in a place that's freezing cold and dark as the inside of a cow half the year.

For instance, The Tallest Man on Earth:



You guys, he has like 2 pounds of gel in his hair and AN EFFING MUSTACHE, but I could forgive that tiny, growly hipster and his tiny parlor guitar anything. Anything.

And then, to prove I'm totally wasting my time with Kristian Matsson, there's his ladyfriend, who is way awesome:



Agreed?

But then there's really amazing Swedish hip hop too! And then there's First Aid Kit and Peter Bjorn and John and Lykke Li. And Jens Lekman!!

Shutting up now about that.

So, yes. Sweden.

My aunt Gerd is Swedish she and my uncle Jonnie live there half the year (guess which half!). I have over the years used divers stratagems to trick them into inviting me to visit, but Gerd basically always says something like "Nie, Yessie, eet ees too rural. Yoo would not like it. Nie."

Well, I guess that just proves my point that I'm not good enough for Sweden. Can anyone prove me wrong? Anyone?

Okay, I'm going to go kick a can down the street. Night night!