Thursday, April 7, 2011


Every year, my friends Hank and Katherine send out a survey to their friends. They have, of course, been doing this since the days when people did such things and swore they would never stop. So I get this survey in my inbox every February, and it's kinda sweet. Like getting a five dollar bill in the mail from your grandmother. Anyway, the results are in!

To the polls!

1. Your favorite Christmas present: I'm sure it was awesome, but it's April now. I honestly can't remember.

2. Twothousandeleven or Twenty Eleven or...? I'm just going to start calling this year Nineteen Eighty One. Rolls off the tongue a little better.

3. What do you want from Hank and Katherine? I want you to help me figure out Twitter. Like, what it's for and why people have it and what I'm supposed to do with it. (I just had to set up a Twitter account today for work and I'm all like "wah?")

4. When was the last time you screamed? Yesterday when Bryan told me Odessa's been saying "Oh My God!" when playing with her dollies. And I screamed "Oh My God!"

5. Lamest super power: I love Jem, but is being truly truly truly outrageous actually very useful? I'd argue not.

6. What do you want us to do with your body when you die? Just nothing weird. Also, the fewer people who see me dead, the better.

7. If my best friend Harry has a brother Larry who (five days from now) is getting married, why am *I* going to be the best man? Because you're also really good friends with Larry? That's all the thought you get out of me regarding that question. Next time I meet that question on the street I'm going to pretend I never met it before.

8. 3D movies are here to stay. How does this make you feel? I'm not sure. I saw Up in 3D and I was neither overwhelmed nor underwhelmed by the experience. It didn't whelm me at all, actually.

9. Book or Television show recommendations: Parks and Recreation is super funny this season. I also just wasted an entire weekend watching 2 seasons of a show called Party Down, and I harbor not one single regret. I'm reading a really great novel called The Book Thief right now. It's about Nazi Germany and it's funnier than you might think.

10. Which country would you most like to see naked? Am I the one who's naked? In that case, someplace warm and in the Pacific. If the country is gonna be naked: Norway because of the Fjords.

11. What was your favorite toy as a child? Where is it now? I had this totally awesome RV with lots of little tiny Barbies that went inside--each one of them had a little Japanese capsule hotel room of its very own. AND THE OUTFITS!! Oh, the outfits. Anyway, I used to make little tiki huts for the mini Barbies out in the back yard. When we moved back to Georgia from California in 4th grade, my dad stayed behind and packed up all my stuff. He gave my mini Barbies and their RV to a girl named Margie. I haven't forgiven him.

12. Would you rather your life be simpler or more interesting? Do you think you can have both? I think you'd have to be pretty careful if you were going to have them both at the same time. I find that generally life is simple for a while until simple becomes boring and then you have to make it interesting until it becomes overwhelming and so you put your energy into making it simple again. It's a positive feedback loop.

13. Favorite Karaoke Song? Secondhand News, Fleetwood Mac

14. Are you totally freaked out by North Korea? Nope.

15. What's the best idea you've ever had? Okay, you ready? Mind you, this was back when Twilight fever was sweeping the nation, but I wanted to patent zinc oxide sunscreen with glitter in it. I could have made hundreds, maybe THOUSANDS of dollars.

16. What's the most important thing that happened to you this year? We spent our entire savings on cars and car repair? I dunno--that seems significant.

17. What's wrong with the world? I disagree with the question.


  1. Damn, So I gave the Barbie Bus and the Barbie Ninny's away? Who was Margie? I disremember. I'll get you one on Ebay...but need more information to find one. It'll be your favorite Xmas present next year!

    What a thing to be unforgiven you never broke or lost anything of mine, Jessie.


  2. i 'membered what my favorite christmas present was. i was thrown off because i got it before christmas so we could use it at our holiday party. the SONOS music player thingy. it is so delightfully awesome.