Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I'm not in a bad mood, I promise.

But today I was driving down Milledge Ave and saw that the antique store on the corner of Hancock had a bunch of Adirondack chairs on the front porch. And I thought to myself, "Those bad boys are seriously uncomfortable."

And so, I kept driving and sort of unconsciously started making a mental list of all the things I dislike. Not hate. The things I hate include children getting blown up by landmines and the fact that some people starve to death. Destructive, evil, unnecessary things. The following I just find mildly irritating. In no particular order, here are 20 of Today's Dislikes*:
  • Adirondack Chairs
  • ambient music (I don't care if it IS Brian Eno)
  • liver (I can still taste it)
  • short stories in The New Yorker
  • this advertisement**:
  • when people call their car or truck their "vehicle," as in "I left my mobile phone out in my vehicle."
  • flimsy handshakes
  • men with Australian accents
  • this book Odessa has called Guess How Much I Love You
  • horror movies
  • the fact that my calves are too big for tall boots
  • the nap you take after Thanksgiving dinner that results in groggy-bubbly gut.
  • folding and putting away clothes/doing dishes/vacuuming/"tidying"
  • those chocolate oranges you get in your Christmas stocking
  • when you're minding your own business and all of a sudden you're informed that it will be necessary to roll play.
  • Thunder Pants, which are those little bloomers that come with every single baby dress you buy, but which just end up piled in the corner of the drawer and never worn.
  • things that are monogrammed in general, but particularly in this font:
  • being woken up, particularly in the morning
  • most white foods that are also gelatinous (ie. mayonnaise, sour cream, tapioca pudding, etc.)
  • Peter Frampton
So there it is. My list of things I don't like today. What is it you dislike today?

*Today's Dislikes are subject to change after 11:59 PM on October 5th, 2010.
**I very nearly hate this ad. I consider it revolting.


  1. That is one of the most horrifying ads ever in the history of ever. I almost like the old-timey ads for "Mommy's Little Helper" opium cough medicine more than that.

  2. old hay balers
    candles with wick too short to light
    snooty people

  3. I also dislike that book "Guess How Much..."
    and people who are too subtle to come right out and say what it is they want, and those who remain willfully deluded that there is no human population problem (at least not in this country, oh no!), I'm not fond of lubbers, either. I like your list, Jesslyn!