Monday, October 25, 2010
You guys, I have at last discovered the Number One reason to keep writing this blog, which is presents.
Friends, I have received a gift from an anonymous benefactor. You'll remember that in my last post, I mentioned that my hair was looking all bedraggled due to the fact that I ran out of the virgin unicorn spit that I use to make my hair so supernaturally soft and voluminous. And virgin unicorn spit is expensive on account of it being so difficult to harvest. Veeery difficult. (The process is pictured above. They basically have to wring it out of that girl's Pashmina once the unicorn is finished slobbering on her bosom.)
Anyway, imagine my surprise when Bryan called today to let me know I got a package in the mail. And ya'll. Somebody has sent me 3.5 ounces virgin unicorn spit. Anonymously!!
Whoever you are, thank you from the follicles to the tips of my soon-to-be-lustrous mane.
To the rest of you lowlifes: if you appreciate this service, you too can begin compensating me for my time with beauty products.
I expect presents from now on. I am so serious.