Monday, February 20, 2012

Lady Love

Kristin and Jane are wearing hats. I want someone to pay attention to me. 
I'm especially fond of women.   I mean, Bryan's a really special and magnificent man and I've been blessed with some extra-good male friends. And 98.8% of the people I've ever wanted to face-gaze or whose forearm I've ever wanted to touch in kind of a weird creeper way have been dudes. (Face gazing is this thing Magdi came up wi--you know what? It doesn't matter, I'll tell you later.  And the whole forearm thing...don't you ever see somebody and a voice inside your head's like, "if I could only figure out a way to touch his forearm...."? Alan Rickman is a good example.  Shut up, Jesslyn.)

But anyway, when it comes down to it, I just really appreciate the company of a nice lady.  And I got to go to Missoula last week--which, in itself is a geographic hub on my map of magical lady love--but it was especially good because I got to fly there with Catherine Meeks, one of my very favorite humans.  Catherine's husband Alex once said "you crazy people aren't happy unless your souls have met on the astral plane."  Which is true; me and Catherine get some next level shit talked about if given the time: the radioactive mice buried underneath Niagra Falls kind of blends in with yogic financial management and the socio-political climatic arc of the Star Wars movies.  And, of course, we also talk about people we know and how they be so crazy.  On this trip, we had to switch seats in the airplane because our necks got cricks in them from talking so much.

Anyway, I don't think I could be happy if I didn't have lady friends like Catherine.  Or Kerry, who just started a blog for my birthday because she loves me: it's called The Poopy Scoop and it's hilarious and you should read it.  Or my friend Susan who wrote me the other night to tell me she had an insight that we were past-life sisters who ran a pecan weevil farm.  Or Jane and Kristin because we were there for each others' adolescences, and oh god it was so ugly.   And My Girl Audrey because I could tell her The Worst Thing I've Ever Done, and she'd be like, "that sounds reasonable, what else you got?"  And Mary and Vicki and Katherine, who I hope are present when I need an emergency civilian-administered leg amputation sans anesthesia, because I'd trust them to do it.  And Becca and Frances who are sweet fairy spirits and Missy Sue who is truly, magically bizarre and wise and Magdi who can make me laugh like I'm being exorcized. And Genevieve! Jess! Kiki! And there are more! MORE.

But the problem here is, that last paragraph looks like it was lifted from Dolly Parton's autobiography, which, yes, I've read, and as much as I love Dolly P., the book's actually pretty boring because she mostly just talks about people you don't know and never says anything mean about them.  Well, the part where she falls off the yacht near the Great Barrier Reef during a storm at sea and is rescued by her agent is exciting, but that's pretty much it.

My point is, nobody likes to hear you talk about people they don't know.  But I'm just saying I really wish everyone had their own Genevieve because I think people would sleep better. Genevieve's really nice.  You would like her.

1 comment:

  1. You come from a long line of "Popeye" forearm people on the Shields side, a genetic defect that serves us well.

    Please focus in on the person in the center of the picture and see how you could not get "all the attention." You couldn't hide in a football stadium full of people. People follow you through crowded airports and burning buildings. They know you'll get through.

    Glad you're blogging again.