Hank and Katherine's Survey: 2012 Edition

 I found this on Hank fan tumblr. So weird.

Every year my friends Hank and Katherine send out a survey to all their friends, and I always think hey, if I'm going to write something personal and/or embarrassing, I might as well throw it up on the old blog!  Because I have no secrets. Or, you know. Not very many.

• What have you been up to for the last year? Well, Hank Green, entrepreneur, has given me a part-time writing job, so I've been able to go to half time at my nonprofit job. It's much more fulfilling situation--thanks Hanky! Also, Odessa got diagnosed with hearing loss so we've had hearing aids for a month and they're working out really well.  I got to go to Missoula a couple times in the past few months, which was great because I miss all my sweet people.  Turned 34 and started feeling like an old person for the first time. I also got really into washing my bras and tights in the washing machine in a delicates bag this year.  Soooooo. Otherwise, just living in Athens, Georgia which is my home sweet home!
  
  
• Your favorite Christmas present: A new mattress that's made out of lumbar-supporting angels. Yeah, it was a little expensive, but totally worth it, as our last mattress was made out of hay...and like shards of glass and pieces of re-bar.
   
• Who was your first celebrity crush? Edward Furlong from Terminator 2: Judgement Day.  I think you'll find I have what's considered "a type."
•  Would you rather give up your favorite band or your favorite food? Band probably. I can't face never eating nachos again....
  
  
• I say "over-rated" you think: Swiffers--specifically the kind that's supposed to "mop."
  
  
• What did you do when you woke up this morning? I pretended to eat the wooden mushroom Odessa was holding in my face. 
• The nearest object to your left elbow is all you have to fight off a zombie...how do you do? A dining room chair from Ikea. I mean, maybe zombies are interested in discussing reasonably priced home goods with sleek European styling? I think I would work that angle first.  
  
• Last time you were on a boat was... Sunday. I kayaked 9 miles of the Chattahoochee River. Wa-BLAM.
  
  
• Last time you screamed? Last night: Odessa and I were playing Snow White and we were running away from the huntsman.
   
• Favorite lyric of 2011? This is a tough question because although I like lyrics, I like melodies better. So sometimes a lyric just sounds really good with the melody and the singer's voice and the production and the instruments.  And sometimes a good lyric sounds pretty stupid even though it's actually super awesome because all the other stuff is wrong. Anyway, some of my favorite lyrics of 2011 came off that King Creosote and John Hopkins album Diamond Mine. But if it were produced differently or if King Creosote weren't Scottish, it'd probably be annoying.  Whatever--you asked, so I told you.
  
  
• The text of the most recent text you received? "...we can even play footsie under the table." That Darla is such a scamp.
  
  
• Now that the statute of limitations is out, did you ever cheat in school? Of course I did.  I'm not stupid. Multiple choice is designed specifically for cheaters.
  
  
• Your unbreakable bad habit: Mental spiraling. SPIRALING.
  
  
• A man has mysteriously been killed in your home and you are being accused...which fictional detective do you call? Sherlock Homes duh. Like Genevieve says, "The man is fucking good at solving mysteries."  
  
• Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich? Who are those people? I'm on Republican Primary strike 2012.  I mean if that's what you're talking about. I don't really know who those people are....
   
• Phone rings at 2 AM...your thoughts: DEAD! WHO'S DEAD!?!????? Obviously.
  
  
• Your favorite TV show is now your life. Which character are you? Ron Swanson is the boss. I only wish I could be like Ron Swanson. I'm probably Andy Dwyer, though.
  
  
• Open your web browser, type an "s" into the URL bar...what does it auto-complete to? Sexworkers Anonymous. Oops, I mean Suntrust. 
  
• If Johnny Depp sat next to you on an airplane, would you keep your shit together? I might actually even ask to be moved to a different seat because the pleasure would be entirely wasted on me. Famous people make me uncomfortable--no offense, Hank.
  
  
• You've died...you were wrong about which thing to believe so now you're in hell. What song is playing on the radio? Rush. Or some really poorly executed prog death metal. Whatever--it'll be some sort of "prog" something.
  
  
• Favorite Curse? This changes pretty much every day.  Like today I busted out, "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Bless'd goddamn Donkey." You have to say it in an Irish accent.  It's mightily impressive when correctly executed. Which mine wasn't. Vicki does it really good--and with gusto.
  
  
• What are you looking forward to? Summertime vegetables! Also my next consecutive days in which I don't have to work on anything.
  
  
• How has the world changed in the last ten years? Everybody expects me to email them right back on my TELEPHONE. (BTW: I still don't have the capability to email you on my telephone, so....)
  
  
• What's changed about you in the last ten years? I don't really worry much about what's wrong with me or about people not liking me. 10 years ago I would have chased somebody down the street yelling, "BUT WHYYYYY DON'T YOU LIKE ME? WHAT IS IT SPECIFICALLYYYY?"