I'm so tired. Like really tired.
You want me to prove it? Okay fine I will.
So, first let me tell you how tired I am. I'm standing up, but I'm not alive in my soul. You know why? Because I work too goddamn much.
Anyway, last night I wrote this article until 3 am and then I had to go to work this morning. So I got, what--5 hours of sleep? I usually require more than that.
I woke up this morning and put on some pants with yogurt on them and 2 socks that didn't match each other and probably a shirt--I can't remember which one. And then I didn't wash my face and then I stood in front of the kitchen counter staring at Odessa's uneaten cereal, trying to remember how to move my eyeballs to the left. And Bryan was like, "you need coffee, huh?"
And I answered yes by trying to blink twice.
"Here," he said, reaching into the back of the coffee stuff shelf. "Make some coffee when you get to work." And then he handed me a sort of dingy plastic bag full of brown powder.
I got to work and Chris, the guy I share an office with, said, "You look like hell" and I was like "thanks," and then I went to the kitchenette to make coffee.
At work we've got this little cheap coffeemaker which we don't use very often, but I put a filter in it and got out the bag that Bryan handed me. I noticed it was really finely ground coffee, but whatever--Bryan has his ways when it comes to coffee, and I'm pretty sure one of them is grinding his coffee really fine. Or else really coarse? It's one of those. I can't remember.
Anyway, so I heaped like 5 big tablespoons of the stuff into the coffee machine and turned it on and then stood staring at it for a few minutes. Because I really needed to the coffee to be done.
So then it was finally done and I poured a cup and put milk in it and walked back to my office and took my first sip just as I was walking in the door. Which is when I realized Bryan had handed me a baggie full of chili powder as I was walking out of the house.
He handed me a bag of chili powder.
I am so tired that this morning I made a pot of coffee with chili powder.
It tasted like the asshole of a dying star. Just terrible.