Thursday, March 29, 2012

Patronizing Hugs

Oh, hi.

So, I had a thought and I figured I might as well tell you about it.

I haven't been getting very much sleep this week. I thought that was done with after Odessa turned two, but no. Now I just don't get any sleep for a different reason, which is that I have two jobs and a three year old on top of a pitiful attempt at a normal human life.

But walking around like a zombie all day for weeks on end really puts things in perspective.  Like it tells you things about yourself that you didn't know before.

Something I've realized about myself is that all I really want from somebody--anybody--is a long, patronizing hug.  Like the kind your dad would give you if you didn't make the Varsity soccer team, which didn't really matter very much because what business did you have playing Varsity soccer in the first place? I mean you're not even very good, and JV soccer is more your style anyway because all you do at practice is run a couple laps and then lie in the grass and hunt for four-leaf clovers and talk about high school boys and watch the Varsity girls working their asses off and yelling at each other. But you tried out anyway because it seemed like a good idea, but they didn't want you and now your feelings are hurt so your dad gives you a patronizing hug while you kind of whimper and whine about nobody liking you.  And he can't help but say something annoying like, "You'll forget about it before you're married."  Which, of course, ruins the patronizing hug and you try to pull away but he doesn't let you, which is what you wanted anyway.

The thing is, you don't get very many patronizing hugs after about age 17.  It's kind of a shame.

Now then. How about some songs?

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