Friday, January 6, 2012


Do you know what I feel like? I feel like I just woke up from the longest nap in history. I haven't looked in the mirror recently, but I imagine I probably have a really long, white beard and there's a cute pair of hedge sparrows nesting in my hair.

So vacation is over and I had to go back to work this week.  And the number of naps I took over Christmas vacation? It was shocking.  And you want to know where I took all these naps? ON MY NEW MATTRESS. I say it's my new mattress because although I technically share it with Bryan and sometimes Odessa, it's mine.  It's my soul mate and every time I get out of bed, me and Mattress embrace passionately as if for the last time.  It's pretty intense.

My mom and Bryan's mom and my bank account got together over Christmas and made all my dreams come true: they got me a new bed.  Because the old bed? It was horseshit.  With the old bed, about once a week I used to wake up in the middle of the night and stumble into the living room to sleep on the couch.  That's how bad it was.  Let's never speak of it again.

Anyway, other than napping like it was my job, my holiday was transcendental and sublime.  But I missed you! How have you been? Tell me everything.


  1. I was charged with taking the box springs and mattress to the dump. They begged me not to. They rode in the a back of the big silver hearse to the Transfer Station.

    I drug them out of the truck, kicking and screaming, throwing them in front of the awaiting Bobcat. They were pushed into the compactor.

    I heard the whine of the hydraulic press...wood splintering springs popping...millions of year of sleep technology...Poof!

    Jesslyn will sleep well tonight.

  2. i am extremely happy for you. and jealous. hank and i are still sleeping on the mattress we bought at a yard sale for 45 dollars about 7 years ago. i mean, really?
    what i want to know is how you decided what kind of new mattress to get. i can't figure out how to figure out what i want.