Lately Bryan and I have been going a special kind of Bananas.
To wit: I generally go to bed after Bryan's already asleep. And for the purposes of this story, I will divulge that I'm one of those people who gets in bed and then realizes she hasn't flossed her teeth, so she gets out of bed and then gets back in bed, only to decide she's thirsty 4 minutes later, etc, etc, etc. So, last night, I was performing my nightly routine and I had just settled in when I suddenly remembered I hadn't checked on Odessa since I put her in her crib four hours before, so I started to roll out of bed when Bryan jerks himself awake and all I can see are the whites of his eyes in the dark as he gasps, lunges, and tackles me, pinning me to the mattress.
"Honey, I'm just going to check on the baby," I say.
"Ooh," he slurs, nestling back into his pillow, "I thoughh--zzzzzzz...."
And it's not just Bryan--I've done the very same thing in the morning when he gets up to go get his coffee at 7 AM. We are both terrified that Odessa's going to roll out of bed, and so part of us is always on edge, waiting for the worst. But there's more.
Last night I dreamed Bryan and I had climbed up into the rafters of a very tall cathedral. Bryan is naturally athletic and coordinated, and likes to jump around on stuff. So we were at the top of this crazy tall cathedral and I'm all sweaty-palmed, holding on the the ladder we had just climbed up (heights make me want to barf), and Bryan is blithely hopping around on the rafters. And then he falls. But I manage to grab the back of his t-shirt, but then I start to fall too.... And then I wake up. That's a stress nightmare, folks.
AND THEN (I promise this is the last anecdote) today I found out I have to drive all the way to Savannah tomorrow (a 5 hour drive) when I thought I was just going to have to drive two hours to Augusta. So, that's over ten hours round trip. And naturally Bryan starts fretting about me driving all that way by myself, and about an hour ago I came home from the store, and he says,
"You can't drive to Savannah and back by yourself. We're coming with you."
And I secretly think "Oh Thank God." Because I was secretly worried about being so far away from them.
Now, for your information, this is just about the craziest idea ever. These days, Odessa is a lot like a solar powered robot zombie who lives in Death Valley, in that she will go and go and go forever in her search of braaaains, and doesn't appreciate being thwarted in her project. An example of the kind of Thwarting I'm talking about is the car seat. In fact, the car seat is the number one Thwarter, followed closely by the Pack 'n' Play and the Dreaded Crib. And now we're going to ask her to be strapped into a car seat for 10 hours. Thwart.
But you know what? It will be fine, because we'll be together--thus, we won't be worried about whether any of the others of us are safe and happy. Because we'll know the others of us are safe. And expressly unhappy.